Independent learning does not appear overnight when a child starts secondary school. It builds up step by step, from nursery school and throughout primary, through simple everyday habits. Here is how to encourage it in your child at home, without doing the work for them.
What is independent learning?
A child who works independently knows how to get started, understands what is being asked, gets organised and looks for a solution when stuck. They also know when to ask for help, which is part of being independent too.
This skill develops with age. At 6, a child is expected to pack their school bag with a little help. At 11, to do their homework alone and prepare for a test over several days. The parent’s role therefore changes: a lot of support at first, then gradually stepping back.
This is also the spirit of the rules in French-speaking schools in Belgium (Wallonia-Brussels Federation). A 2001 decree regulates homework in nursery and primary education:
- no homework in nursery school;
- in the 1st and 2nd year of primary, no written homework, only short activities such as reading;
- 20 minutes maximum in the 3rd and 4th year, 30 minutes in the 5th and 6th;
- tasks the child must be able to complete without help from an adult.
In other words, school counts on homework the child does alone. The ideas below prepare them for it, whatever school they attend.
Involve your child in their own learning
Independence starts with feeling in charge of what you learn. A child who simply puts up with homework experiences it as a chore. A child who is given a small say in it gets more involved.
A few practical ideas:
- ask what they learned today and what they found interesting;
- let them choose between two books, two exercises or two ways of revising;
- talk about what they would like to be able to do by the end of the year (read a novel alone, know their times tables).
These conversations feed their curiosity. They also tell you what motivates your child, which is valuable when a subject gets harder. Every child learns in their own way: our article on the 8 types of intelligence helps you spot your child’s.
Let them make age-appropriate decisions
Making decisions is something you learn. Start with small choices whose consequences are easy to live with:
- the order in which they do their homework (the hardest first, or the shortest);
- when to do homework, within a framework you set (before or after their afternoon snack);
- how to learn their lesson: reread it, recite it, draw it.
If a choice does not work, that is useful information. Talk about it together the next day: “Was doing the maths last a good idea?” This is how they learn to assess their own decisions.
Guide without giving the answer
When your child gets stuck, it is tempting to show them the solution. Try guiding them with questions instead:
- “What is the instruction asking you to do?”
- “Have you already done an exercise that looks like this one?”
- “Where could you find the information? In your exercise book, your reference sheet?”
This guided problem solving takes a little more time at first. Yet it teaches them something no correction ever will: how to tackle it alone next time.
Learning to manage time
Time remains an abstract idea for a young child. Visual tools make it concrete:
- a routine chart for the morning and after school, with pictures for the youngest;
- a weekly calendar where they write down tests, swimming and birthdays themselves;
- a timer, to see what 20 minutes of work feels like.
Towards the end of primary school, teach them to prioritise. What is due tomorrow? What can wait? Which lesson needs reviewing several days before the test? These habits will be essential in secondary school, where there are more teachers and more subjects.
The school diary is a good place to start. At first, you go through it together every evening. Then your child tells you what is in it, and you check from time to time.
Make mistakes a normal step
A child who is afraid of getting things wrong is less willing to try alone. Yet mistakes are part of learning. French educationalist Jean-Pierre Astolfi showed this in a reference work, L’erreur, un outil pour enseigner (1997): a mistake reveals how the pupil is reasoning, and that is where you can start helping.
At home, this means a few attitudes:
- praise effort and perseverance, not just the good mark;
- ask “how did you do it?” before saying whether it is right;
- let them correct a mistake they have spotted, rather than rubbing it out for them.
One caveat: valuing mistakes does not mean letting everything slide. A child needs to know what is right. The idea is for them to find the correction themselves, with your help if needed.
Help them think about how they learn
Learning to learn involves reflecting on your own learning, which researchers call metacognition. A child who can say what they have understood, and what is still difficult, knows better where to focus their efforts.
A few simple questions at the end of the week:
- “What did you find easy this week? And hard?”
- “What helped you remember your lesson?”
- “What would you like to do differently next week?”
For older children, a small logbook where they note their successes, difficulties and a goal for the week turns this reflection into a habit.
When should you ask for help?
Some children remain very dependent despite your efforts: homework that takes far longer than expected, needing an adult beside them for every exercise, getting discouraged quickly. A first step is to talk to the class teacher, who sees your child working in class. The school’s PMS centre (CLB in Dutch-speaking schools) can also advise you.
Outside support can then ease your evenings. Regular homework help builds good habits, and lessons in study skills teach your child to get organised and revise. At My Sherpa, an educational advisor chooses the right coach for your child, for lessons at home anywhere in Belgium or online. The goal is the same as yours: for your child to learn to work independently.
If school has become a source of tension, our article My child doesn’t like school may also help.
